I don’t remember what it feels like to love you.
I only remember the excruciating pain.
The unforgettable scent of your cologne after a long embrace.
I remember dark nights with that same song on repeat.
I remember what it felt like to touch you.
I remember listening to the sound of your heartbeat as I laid my head on your chest.
I remember thinking “savor this moment…it’ll be the last.”
From now on he won’t give you the opportunity.
He’ll only allow you small doses of his love.
I remember yearning for you.
I remember writing poems in empty notebooks about you.
I never forget how safe I felt with you.
In fact, I searched for that feeling on the tongue of every man I kissed after you.
I remember the day we broke it off.
I remember acting so cool.
I remember being broken.
I remember being insecure.
I remember not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I remember your reassurance.
I remember your lies.
I remember not being able to sleep because you consumed my dreams
I remember praying for sleep to come because you also consumed my reality.
I remember crying.
I remember falling to my knees begging the air to fill my lungs.
Begging to wake up from this horrible nightmare.
Begging that God would finally release me from the pain.
I remember pain.
I mourn the pieces of me that I lost.
But I rejoice in what was gained.
I don’t remember what it feels like being in love with you
…or maybe I do?